This post is part of Truth Thursdays.

It’s hard to shift a belief you’ve held onto for most of your life. But I’ll do my best to understand more.

It’s difficult to be fat in a place full of skinny people. It’s like hell minus the raging fire pits. You get stares, a lot of disgusting stares. People thinking they’re better than you because of your BMI. What’s worse is that at times I feel like my friends and family are ashamed of me because of my size.

When I ride public utility vehicles, I am often teased that I have to pay for two since I take up a lot of space. So one day I did.

Countless times I rationalized this in my head. The driver needs to reach his quota. I am being inconsiderate of other people. I should just walk and be done with it. It felt like betraying myself a thousand times over.

My self concept has been incorrect. The terms I have used to define myself are restrictive, even a bit pessimistic.

I am a person. You can’t tell the state of my health, or my character, or my beliefs just by looking at the size of my ass.

I’m leaving behind the voice in my head plaguing me for years. Today I leave this behind: “You are not enough.” Because I am. I know I am.

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7 thoughts on “Truth Thursdays: Today I Leave Behind

  1. this is beautiful, lady. you know, i’m one of those skinny people that you mentioned but you are aware of the state of my health so really bmi doesn’t matter. people who judge you because of your size don’t even deserve you so it’s better that you do not have anything to do with them. i think it is all about finding the right people to surround us with. everyone else doesn’t matter because fuck them, that’s why.

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