Things I’ve Been Working On

Hello, internet. It’s been a while, I know, and I’ve got so many stories to tell you. I’m typing this in the office (sssh, don’t rat me out!) because I cannot bottle up my excitement any longer.

Remember when I told you that nothing’s been going on in my life? Well, now there’s a bunch of projects I have dedicated my time to. Busy is good, is what I tell myself everyday because it is.

I’m back at the workforce, (un)fortunately. I guess I did some things wrong the last time I had a day job. That’s the only reason why I lost track, why I got bored. I had several months off anything so I kind of feel like things are looking up for me.
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orange is the new black

Casual Consumption

I first saw Casual Consumption on Carina’s blog, Nothing Spaces, and since I watch television a lot, I thought maybe I can also do it here. I haven’t posted about any of the shows I am following and figured this is the perfect entry for that.

awkward mtv

It’s the show I keep watching even if it means sitting through so much unnecessary drama. At one point it got so pointless that I thought of letting go of it despite my inexplainable attraction to my girl Valerie. They also got rid of the almighty Ming Huang, the only Asian character in the show. Boo!

The new season also shifted in terms of character development. Tamara became this stereotypical crazy ex-girlfriend who catfishes her ex-boyfriend and reeks of so much bitterness causing the feminists of Tumblr to rage rant after every freaking episode. I wasn’t keen on it, too but girl got her momentum later on.

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Serious Scrubbing

I rarely Google myself because 1) that sounds egocentric and 2) it feels pointless. When I woman-ed up and thought about going on a different direction with this blog, I did a Google search on myself and found a dirty trail of sad, shameless, and distasteful me all over the internet.

It was a very unpleasant cringe-fest at 5 in the morning and it  kept getting cruddier as I scroll backwards. The things I posted on secret journals where I remained anonymous weren’t even on that results page. Imagine the horror of reading my old LJ entries – whiny, sad, poor vocabulary, aimless.

So I did some serious scrubbing. I started here and I’ll get to the outrageous ones in the coming days.

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The Do-Over

Itching to write a post at 6 am (I haven’t slept) feels like my brain is running on an extremely high dosage of Ritalin. This is also the most excited I have been in months (maybe a year but who’s counting?). I feel like I started my sophomore year running this blog all wrong; I apologize for the unnecessary darkness and so I am here for the do-over.

The thing is, and to put it simply I’m going to borrow a sentence from the beautiful, harrowing essay by Brittany Julious, my true quarter-life crisis is right now.

The past four years have been extremely difficult for me. I was immensely preoccupied with my then nursing job (and later on my 9 to 6 corporate job) and was badly scarred in battle by the monstrosity that is real life that I unconsciously put my aspirations in life in the back burner and halted a future I envisioned myself to have.

I wanted to be an adult adult fast. The kind that has her shit together. The one with a Plan B. With investments. With stability. And a fraction of why I decided to want this adult version of me is driven by fear. The world has this grand idea that when you’re 25 you’re supposed to have great things and achieve a crapton of somethings. That’s frightening for me because I barely have anything right now.

I eventually stopped dreaming altogether. And that’s usually the sign, the symptom that the person has given up on life. And I realized that it’s so early for me to call it quits. I believe I have a few good fights left in me. I shouldn’t sabotage my future just because I stumbled upon a few dead ends.

I’m still trying to figure things out now. I’m starting from scratch. I always remind myself to dream. To want great things without compromising what I planned for myself when I was starting out as a young adult. At least now I kinda have something to hold on to. I’m trying and that’s good.

TL; DR version
The bad news: I’m in a rut.
The good news: This is not how my story ends.

If I sound like a self-help book then my work here is sort of done (we’ll get to the lists, to the happy place, promise). I want to help myself and I’m starting now.

Wanderland Music & Arts Festival 2014

Last Saturday I went to Wanderland Music & Arts Festival 2014 held at the Globe Circuit Grounds Makati. I was with my good friend, Karla, and it was equal parts enjoyable and exhausting.

lucy rose

We got there just in time for Lucy Rose‘s set and it was magical but the heat, oh god, the heat was making it difficult for me to enjoy the event. It felt like a million degrees out and we didn’t even get there early (it was like 5 pm or something). Some people were there before the whole thing started. Anyway, Lucy Rose was awesome and I instantly became a fan because her voice is as soothing as mango thick shake and belly rubs and cotton candy. Heh.

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